What is an emotional flashback (and how to handle it)
Updated November 2025
Hi, I’m Sarah. I’m a Manchester-based psychotherapist working online with people recovering from childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and CPTSD.
If you’ve ever thought, “One minute I’m fine, the next minute I’m not,” you’re not imagining it. That sudden shift in emotion is often an emotional flashback. Most people underidentify them; they notice flash points but miss the longer, more substantial ones that drag on for days or weeks.
Understanding these flashbacks is key to breaking the cycle, and that’s where therapy can help.
Why flashbacks happen
Emotional flashbacks aren’t just overreacting. They happen when your brain partially matches a situation in the present with a situation in the past. In doing this it often overestimates the danger.
For example:
Your boss says you’re useless, and suddenly you feel helpless, panicked, or ashamed, far more than the situation warrants.
A friend seems distant, and you feel abandoned or rejected; it feels like nobody likes you, like it did when you were a child.
Your brain is triggering old emotions in the present, even though the original event is long over.
Why most people miss them
Most people notice the quick, obvious flashbacks: the sudden pang of fear, shame, or sadness. But the longer, subtler flashbacks often fly under the radar.
You might withdraw, people please, or avoid confrontation without realizing why.
You might blame yourself: “I overreacted again,” not knowing it links back to past experiences.
This confusion is normal and not your fault. Many people simply haven’t learned to recognize the process or unpick it yet.
How do I know if I’m having an emotional flashback?
Emotional flashbacks often catch people off guard. You might hear questions like:
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Why did you do that?”
“Why are you so upset?”
“Why are you getting so angry?”
“Why are you overreacting?”
And you have no idea how to answer. Part of you knows you’re overreacting, but the emotions feel so intense and real that you don’t know what else to do.
It can feel like watching a car crash in slow motion: you’re fully aware it’s happening, but you can’t stop it or control it.
Some signs to watch for:
Sudden waves of shame, fear, anger, or sadness that seem disproportionate to the current situation
Feeling like you’re reliving a past experience, even if you can’t pinpoint which one
Freezing, shutting down, or going blank in the moment
Acting or reacting in ways that confuse you afterwards
You’re not “crazy,” and you’re not overreacting. Your brain is responding to what happened in the past, not what’s happening in the present moment. Recognising these patterns is the first step to managing them and that’s exactly what therapy can help you do.
Why non directive therapy isn’t always enough
Some therapy styles assume you’ll figure it out on your own. If you grew up with subtle, insidious trauma like emotional neglect, unpredictable rules, feeling responsible for everyone, that approach can leave you stuck.
I help clients translate, unpick and learn to recognise:
Their own reactions
Other people’s behaviors
Patterns from the past that are being replayed in the present
This doesn’t stop flashbacks overnight, but it gives you tools to catch them earlier, making them shorter, less intense, and further apart. Over time, with practice, flashbacks become less frequent and easier to manage, and the shame, confusion, and self-blame that often accompany them fades.
What You Learn in Therapy
Clients often learn to:
Reconnect with their feelings before they escalate – noticing early signals instead of being blindsided.
Understand what really upset them – mapping current triggers to past experiences without judgment.
Stop shaming themselves for suffering – realizing emotional flashbacks are normal responses to abnormal experiences.
Respond more skillfully in the moment – making sense of reactions to others instead of feeling trapped.
The goal is awareness, understanding, and making better choices, not perfection. Over time, you can break automatic loops and regain clarity over your emotions and choices.
Helpful Resources
One of my favourite resources for understanding emotional flashbacks is Pete Walker’s guide to flashback management. Many clients who’ve read his book find it clarifies what’s happening and gives practical ideas. But even after reading, people often still don’t know how to unpick the patterns in their own lives or get the feedback and guidance they need; that’s where therapy can make a real difference.
Get help for emotional flashbacks
Emotional flashbacks are confusing, but they don’t have to control your life. With guidance, you can understand your patterns, reconnect with your feelings, and respond instead of react.
If you think you’re experiencing emotional flashbacks, you don’t have to figure it out alone. I help people like you make sense of what’s happening and find practical ways to change your patterns.