Who I work with

• You’re smart, capable and by all external measures successful.

• People come to you with their problems. (And you give good advice, if you do say so yourself.)

• You’ve still got nagging doubts about your life. You thought you’d feel more grown up. (And less like your public persona doesn’t match your internal experience.)

• You’re intrigued by therapy, but all the soothing, softly spoken validation makes you want to run a mile in the opposite direction.

• You played the game, done the things you were supposed to do - but none of it helped or filled the hole you can’t locate (it feels too cliché to say it’s in your heart).

You’re suffering with:

Feeling like you should feel better than you do. Self criticism. A pervasive sense of “wtf is wrong with me and why can’t I fix it?” Perfectionism. People pleasing. Feeling unfulfilled. Emptiness. You may feel rage towards one or both parents, although you’d never say it out loud. Or maybe you’re stunningly indifferent towards your family because, honestly, you’re not that close.

You might have anxiety. Panic attacks. Low self esteem. Trust issues. You probably overreact, or wonder why one minute you’re fine and the next minute you’re really not okay. You’re not sure exactly what happened in between.

You probably describe your family situation as “complicated.” I’d call it dysfunctional.

You might identify with the label of CPTSD (complex trauma). This could look like a history of childhood trauma, abuse, or neglect, including Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) or any of the struggles above.

Or you might not recognise any of these terms. You might just know that something feels wrong and you need some help.

You’ve tried to work things out on your own, or with other therapists, and still feel stuck. You know there’s more going on under the surface than anyone else sees.

Does therapy even work?

I wouldn’t be here if it didn’t. You don’t want a therapist who seems to be struggling as much as you are.

I’m interested in how you interact with me and family, friends, colleagues. People bring their patterns into therapy, and understanding these patterns lets us practice change in the therapy room before taking it out into the real world.

I’ll help you spot your patterns, and teach you what needs to change to escape them. We’ll test what works and learn how to fix the things that keep tripping you up. If you need help learning how to feel I can teach you that too.

Why should I trust you?

Don’t trust me.

Seriously. I won’t bullshit you with the “this is a safe space” line you’ve heard so many times you want to throw the Ikea chair into the stream that seems to appear on every therapy website.

Instead, be prepared to tell me what you’re thinking, what you notice, who I remind you of, when you gave up, and what keeps you going.

I love working with clients who’ve struggled to find reliable people in their lives. If you can trust me, you can start trusting other people again, or at least get better at spotting who deserves it.

I continue to work on myself, so you won’t look at me and see the “shit, I struggle with too” look you’ve spotted on other therapists’ faces.

I’m not perfect or fixed. But you don’t want that anyway: you want honesty, solidarity, and someone who actually gets it.

Education and background

My training is in Integrative Psychotherapy which takes different elements of attachment, Gestalt, relational, developmental approaches.

It included weekly personal therapy and regular supervision throughout.

Before training as a psychotherapist, I studied at UCL and worked in London in financial service. The spreadsheets, meetings, and troubleshooting did finally come in handy spotting patterns, solving problems, understanding systems and behaviour. I miss the free champagne and the commission more than the spreadsheets.