Hosting your family at Christmas isn’t the problem.
It’s surviving the emotional fallout afterwards.
As soon as Halloween’s over, your stomach knots and the countdown begins. You dread the tension, the barbed “jokes,” and the predictable defence: “Why can’t anyone take a joke?” Not to mention the guilt (yours, of course) that it’s not like the Christmas adverts promised. You plan meticulously, but you can’t order self-awareness from Ocado with the champagne for the Bucks Fizz. Even the perfectly wrapped Diptyque candle won’t make your mother happy — and somehow you’re still hopeful it might.
Sound familiar? That’s the cost of carrying everyone else’s chaos while they act like nothing’s wrong.
What’s really going on
You’ve spent years keeping the peace, smoothing over arguments, and making everyone else look good — even when it’s exhausting. And somehow, it’s never enough: you still feel tense, drained, and like your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
We’ll figure out what’s really going on beneath the surface — and you’ll see it’s less personal once you understand why people act the way they do.
What we’ll do together
We’ll identify old patterns that keep you feeling stuck and helpless.
We’ll deconstruct your triggers, where they come from, and how to spot when something’s going wrong (before it’s too late).
We’ll explore how you can behave differently — so you’re part of the solution, not adding fuel to the fire.
Sessions are online via Zoom - flexible, and convenient.
Why I can help
I’ve spent 15 years helping people untangle the impact of emotional neglect and family dysfunction. My clients are often high functioning, thoughtful, and exhausted by how much they carry, just like you.
You don’t want head nodding and long silences. You don’t want to be told you should have the answers yourself. And you don’t want to be made to feel like a child who’s being told off (does anyone?!) No problem. As someone who has struggled to follow the rules for the sake of it and who became a therapist because I never got the right answers in therapy, I get it.
Clients tell me they appreciate my clear and guided approach. I’m not the tea and sympathy type (although I can do that if that’s what you need). I’m the ‘wow that was f*cked up, let me help you understand what’s going on so I can help you avoid it next time’ type. I’m also not afraid to share my own embarrassing stories, so you’re not left wishing a hole in the ground would open up and swallow you.
I can’t promise you inner peace. But I can point you in the right direction. I know the tripwires, the holes, and where people get stuck, and I’ll keep you motivated so you can feel more in control and at ease with yourself.
Take the first step
You don’t have to keep doing this alone.
You don’t need to understand how it will work (that’s my job!)
You don’t need to have the perfect words or a curated story. You just need a flicker of hope that surely someone knows how to deal with this and a determination to keep going until things start to make sense.