How do I get rid of work anxiety?

It’s worse than that back to school feeling you had as a kid, when Sunday afternoon turned into Sunday evening and you knew that time was slipping away. You’d feel that familiar knot in your stomach telling you it was going to be a rough week. But you thought you’d left all that behind and although people are sometimes sympathetic to little kids, in your experience they’re less sympathetic to big ones…

Is work anxiety normal?

All anxiety is normal to some extent. That means that feeling anxious from time to time is a normal emotion.

If you feel anxious most or all of the time, this can cause problems as you might feel unable to do your work or you might avoid tasks or situations where you feel anxious. When experienced for long periods of time, anxiety can affect your eating, health, sleep and enjoyment of life.

Why is my work giving me anxiety?

To better understand what’s going on, it’s helpful to try and unpick the situation so that you can understand where the problem is coming from.

Topics to consider:

Your boss

Are they supportive? Unreasonable? Do they remind you of someone you were scared of as a kid? Do they bombard you with emails or arrange endless meetings which mean you can’t get any work done?

Your colleagues

Do you feel comfortable around your colleagues? Are they generally supportive or are they competitive? Do you feel like they’d back you up or throw you under the bus? Do they do their fair share of work or monotonous tasks or are you left with all the tedious jobs while they take credit? Are they respectful? Do they make racist, sexist or other offensive jokes?

Your work environment

Are you working from an office or from home? Are you feeling isolated at home? Have you got enough space to work and somewhere private to concentrate? Do you wish you could work at home more or be in the office more?

Your work equipment

Do you have the right tools for your job? Does that include safety or protective equipment? Have you got the right office equipment if you work in an office?

Training and qualifications

Do you feel able to do your job? Can you ask for support or training if you can’t? Do you have the time to ask questions if you are stuck or unsure of how to proceed?

Company culture

Does your company appreciate you? Do they understand your work environment and job or do they expect you to work 24/7 or discourage you from taking holidays? Are they underpaying you? Are they sensitive to any additional needs that you have or adjustments that you require?

Does a history of anxiety = work anxiety?

Yes, your mental health and past issues can contribute to whether or not you experience work anxiety.

Childhood trauma

But I had a great childhood!

Many people are quick to dismiss childhood trauma, often without understanding it fully. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your parents or family were terrible people. Sometimes your parents did much better than their own parenting and still left you with unmet needs.

Childhood trauma can be:

Physical, sexual or emotional abuse

Racism, poverty, parents who were in prison or who had addictions

Parents who left you to look after yourself because of work commitments, relationships problems, illness in the family, siblings who were sick or who had additional needs

Parents who had undiagnosed mental health issues or who had additional needs that were poorly understood

Parents who did not understand feelings and did not know how to deal with yours

Parents who were traumatised by some event in their own lives

Parents who were overwhelmed, out of their depth or preoccupied with their own issues

Children can be traumatised even when they are loved or their parents tried their best. Sometimes children are traumatised outside the home and don’t feel able to speak out at home.

How does childhood trauma affect work anxiety?

Children who grew up feeling unsupported, may not have the skills to navigate issues as an adult.

Symptoms of work anxiety:

Feeling scared or anxious all the time

Dreading meetings or presentations where you need to speak

Clashes with colleagues

Difficulty being assertive

Being blamed for things that aren’t your fault

Feeling stuck or hopeless at work

Feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to change this

What can I do about work anxiety?

Learn to regulate your emotions more effectively

This doesn’t mean you’re being melodramatic or reacting disproportionately but you might be lacking the skills to regulate your anxiety (which means calm yourself down in stressful situations).

Sometimes it’s possible to manage your feelings better and learn how to deal with them so you feel more comfortable at work. This doesn’t mean that it’s your fault that you’re anxious but without understanding your anxiety or knowing how to deal with it, it’s hard to change your situation.

How do I get help for work anxiety?

Therapy can help teach you these skills or let you know what you need to practice. Your employer might have an EAP (employee assistance programme) which gives you access to support.

If you’re looking for a therapist who specialises in childhood trauma, you can book a free call here to see if I can help you.

What else can I do?

You might also be able to speak to someone you trust at work such as a colleague or manager to ask for support or guidance.

If you have a problem with your work environment you may be able to speak to HR about it (if you don’t get the response you need, it doesn’t mean you were wrong. Unfortunately not all companies will help you with your issues).

You may need to change jobs if you have repeatedly tried to get help or have attempted to resolve the cause of your anxiety.

You may be able to request adjustments to your working hours, tasks or environment to help you feel more comfortable.

You might be able to speak to your doctor and consider anti anxiety medication to support you with your anxiety.

Could my work anxiety be situational?

If you have other stressors outside your work life it might also be that you under too much stress generally and it’s affecting your work. It’s not always possible to drop responsibilities outside of work but sometimes you can give yourself a break by lowering your expectations or opening up to someone who can provide emotional support.

If self help methods don’t help you, please contact a therapist or your GP for additional support. Nobody should be stuck feeling anxious every day and you can get help and feel better.